Our Crazy, Upside-Down Life
by Stellar Night
Summary: We all know them. The BTT. What happens in their daily lives? A collection of BTT short stories.
1. Chapter 1

If you had been at that certain bar on Saturday night, you would of seen them.

The Prussian, the Spaniard, and the Frenchmen, dancing and drinking their hearts out.

You would have seen the striptease on the table-top.

You would of seen the overly-excited woman, with a flower in her hair, snapping pictures of them, while a small asian man chatted with her.

"I always pick my clothes to be sexy," the Spaniard sang, and a man with a strange curl sticking out of his head got a nosebleed on the other side of the room.

"My mouth never takes a holiday," a stubbly blonde purred. You would've sworn you heard a guy with very large eyebrows mutter, "Bloody frog. Sometimes, I think you're my only friend, Flying Mint Bunny."

"With I'm out with my guys, I always play a bit bitchy," the albino man practically shouted, and the girl taking pictures squealed.

If you were there, you would have seen everyone in the bar entranced by the three men singing on top of the counter.

"Sexy, naughty, bitchy me!" they sang in unison, and many women (and men alike) swooned.

Cat-calls and whistles resounded through the small and stingy club. Everyone was cheering for the trio.

If you were there, you would've had the time of your life.

But you weren't there.

And the Bad Touch Trio still rocked on.

**A/N: Hoped you liked it! Review, please! If you want a certain scenario to happen, please tell me in a review or PM.**


	2. Chapter 2

On a lovely spring day, France discovered Fanfiction. He had been browsing around the internet when he stumbled across it. The website of his dreams. After several hours pure bliss, via rated M fics, he called the other two members of his messed-up trio.

"Oh, great, you answered!" France cried into the phone at Prussia and Spain. "I discovered something magical!"

"What is it, amigo?" Spain asked cheerfully.

"Fanfiction!"

"Fan what?" a confused Prussia inquired.

"Fanfiction! It's a site where random strangers write about us! They write horror, tragedy, adventure, humor, but mostly romance. And smut! Oh, man, the smut is amazing! Two guys, two girls, a guy and a girl, a threesome, you name it! And the best part? They all star us!" France gushed.

"...Are you saying there are romantic stories about Lovi and I?"

"Oui, Spain! Thousands of them!" France informed him.

"And me and Hungary?" Prussia asked.

"Yep!" France said.

"I'm coming over. Right now," Spain declared to France.

"Count the Awesome Prussia in! Kesesesesese!"

As a result of that conversation, the members of the BTT were huddled around a computer screen for several days, living off tap water and junk food. And reading Fanfiction constantly, leaving the rest of the world wondering what the hell happened to them.

They soon found out, when France, Prussia, and Spain finally emerged from France's house.

"Hey, Romano! I have a really cool site to tell you about!" And with that, Lovino Vargas was scarred for life.

**A/N: Dear any person who reviews: Thank you, thank you, thank you! I really enjoy feedback. Every review I get makes me grin and squeal like a rabid fangirl. **

**I'm not sure how long this fic is going to be. I think I'll make chapters until I run out of ideas. **


	3. Chapter 3

It was a blistering summer afternoon, and the Bad Touch Trio were bored. Very bored.

"We could eat tomatoes," Spain suggested.

"No, I don't like tomatoes. We should drink beer and bother West! Kesesesese!" Prussia proposed.

All of a sudden, France slammed his hands down on the table. "We're prank calling Iggy!" he proclaimed.

The other two members smiled devilishly. Prussia took out his cell phone from his pocket. "England doesn't have my number," he said. "I'll do it."

On the fifth ring, England picked up. "Hullo? Who is this?" he greeted politely.

"Hi, I'm pregnant," Prussia told him in an unnaturally high voice. He sounded like Poland.

There was a pause. Then, "I think you've got the wrong number."

"Nope!" Prussia said.

"You have the wrong number," England assured. "I haven't done..._it_...with any ladies in the past few months."

"Is this Arthur Kirkland?" Prussia asked.

England let out a little yelp on the other end of the line. "...Was I drunk?"

"Oh, yes, yes. Very drunk," Prussia stated, still talking in a high-pitched voice.

France and Antonio had to cover their mouths so England wouldn't hear them laughing.

"Oh, SHIT," England cussed. "Oh my God, what am I going to do?!"

"Just pay me child support of one hundred dollars a month," Prussia said, then gave England his address. He hung up, smirking.

After that, Prussia always looked forward to the money England sent him faithfully each month.


	4. Chapter 4

France, Spain, and Prussia had a plan. They were going to make the current U/N meeting the most exciting one yet. The plan was created by passing notes to each other while America was making another one of his infamous, ridiculous speeches.

With a couple nods directed at one another, the three stood up after America was done. "We've decided to have everyone play a game," France announced.

"What is it, aru?" China asked his ally.

"Spin the bottle."

Several gasps came from around the room, along with a, "Ve! I wanna play, Germany!"

"I appose," Switzerland said.

"No. Everyone has to play," Prussia told him. He took an empty beer bottle out from his pocket and gave it to Denmark, the nation sitting next to him.

Denmark threw a cocky grin at Norway. "It's gonna land on you," he said, and sure enough, the bottle landed on the very pissed off Norwegian. He ran over to Norway, and kissed him on the mouth.

Norway pushed him off. "It's Poland's turn," he stated.

Denmark gave the bottle to Poland, who got Lithuania, and kissed him on the cheek.

After that, the nations that had to kiss were: Japan and America, N. Italy and Germany (Neither of them minded that much), Sweden and Finland, and Austria and Switzerland. Finally, England snapped. "Okay, it's over!" he cried. "Let's get back to the meeting now!"

Reluctantly, Prussia took the bottle back. "Well, it was fun while it lasted." He winked. "Until next time, suckers!"


End file.
